Many people are anticipating Dark Souls III coming out this April 12th on PS4, XBox One and PC. Today Bandai Namco released this absolutely crazy violent Dark Souls III animated short by the great shock horror director Eli Roth. Roth directed Cabin Fever, Hostel I & II, the Grindhouse trailer for Thanksgiving, Nation's Pride film within Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds(as well as starring in it), The Green Inferno and Knock, Knock. This Dark Souls short titled The Witches is pure eye popping Roth and it was so hilariously grotesque I offer a commentary for all of the major beats.
Strong Warning: This Video Is Very Dark But My Commentary Isn't
Feel free to read along to my commentary as the video progresses through time.
0:09 - Apparently in Dark Souls III the people making all the money are flag makers.
0:13 - Seriously a between the eye headshot with a crossbow? Someone's been practicing! I bet the person that got shot was impressed for a few seconds before the end.
0:16 - The first step that Protagonist Man takes splatters blood everywhere. The tone of this short has been set and There Will Be Blood.
0:21 - I wonder if people designing castles pick the decorations knowing that the inevitable undead horde will eventually come to occupy them for a thousand years? They look so good with adorned with web and corpse!
0:30 - Smash open a door and SURPRISE SKELETONS! You know, just another day at the office for Protagonist Man.
0:33 - Protagonist Man just earned everything that's coming next. Seriously, that rat was just taking a nap and then you happened.
0:37 - Usually I avoid heading to bright flaming doors and visions of hell flame but to each their own.
0:51 - Yeah... this is where Protagonist Man again sort of loses me. So... you you don't drink Witch oatmeal that glows yellow?
1:03 - Clearly there is very little business for these Witches running their golden oatmeal selling stand and they simply want Protagonist Man to try a sample. #appreciatethehustle
1:08 - I love how after Protagonist Man clearly needs to solve this problem with violence he immediately falls into a hole in the ground. #derptagonistman
1:14 - Apparently Hell in Dark Souls is a couple feet under the ground so how do trees exist? ARE THEY MAGIC TREES THAT HAVE NO ROOTS? #rootgate2016 #therearenowellsindarksouls
1:30 - I wonder if this guy took a bath in honey before going exploring to get the birds to do that?
1:32 - I applaud Protagonist Man's dentist. Clearly his benefits plan is quite good.
1:42 - Tip over the cauldron of golden oatmeal and it all heads straight for Protagonist Mans mouth. Think of the possibilities? A beer glass that when accidentally spilled contents go to the right place? A sippy cup that never lets a drop hit the floor? #witchesmakingriches #appreciatethehustle
1:58 - Golden Witch oatmeal turns you into Diablo? I am sure for 99% of Blizzard cosplayers this video isn't a nightmare, it's wish fulfillment.
2:05 - I wonder where those three Deer things that got vaporized were headed? I have a strong feeling it's back to the North Pole.
Curious what your take on this video is? I actually had fun watching it and the best part is that it's both disturbing and quite a bit of fun.
Strong Warning: This Video Is Very Dark But My Commentary Isn't
Feel free to read along to my commentary as the video progresses through time.
0:09 - Apparently in Dark Souls III the people making all the money are flag makers.
0:13 - Seriously a between the eye headshot with a crossbow? Someone's been practicing! I bet the person that got shot was impressed for a few seconds before the end.
0:16 - The first step that Protagonist Man takes splatters blood everywhere. The tone of this short has been set and There Will Be Blood.
0:21 - I wonder if people designing castles pick the decorations knowing that the inevitable undead horde will eventually come to occupy them for a thousand years? They look so good with adorned with web and corpse!
0:30 - Smash open a door and SURPRISE SKELETONS! You know, just another day at the office for Protagonist Man.
0:33 - Protagonist Man just earned everything that's coming next. Seriously, that rat was just taking a nap and then you happened.
0:37 - Usually I avoid heading to bright flaming doors and visions of hell flame but to each their own.
0:51 - Yeah... this is where Protagonist Man again sort of loses me. So... you you don't drink Witch oatmeal that glows yellow?
1:03 - Clearly there is very little business for these Witches running their golden oatmeal selling stand and they simply want Protagonist Man to try a sample. #appreciatethehustle
1:08 - I love how after Protagonist Man clearly needs to solve this problem with violence he immediately falls into a hole in the ground. #derptagonistman
1:14 - Apparently Hell in Dark Souls is a couple feet under the ground so how do trees exist? ARE THEY MAGIC TREES THAT HAVE NO ROOTS? #rootgate2016 #therearenowellsindarksouls
1:30 - I wonder if this guy took a bath in honey before going exploring to get the birds to do that?
1:32 - I applaud Protagonist Man's dentist. Clearly his benefits plan is quite good.
1:42 - Tip over the cauldron of golden oatmeal and it all heads straight for Protagonist Mans mouth. Think of the possibilities? A beer glass that when accidentally spilled contents go to the right place? A sippy cup that never lets a drop hit the floor? #witchesmakingriches #appreciatethehustle
1:58 - Golden Witch oatmeal turns you into Diablo? I am sure for 99% of Blizzard cosplayers this video isn't a nightmare, it's wish fulfillment.
2:05 - I wonder where those three Deer things that got vaporized were headed? I have a strong feeling it's back to the North Pole.
Curious what your take on this video is? I actually had fun watching it and the best part is that it's both disturbing and quite a bit of fun.
