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Duke Nukem Forever: Is it really that bad?

I've been doing a bit of an experiment over the past week, playing games that have been pretty severely panned to see if I can find the positives. So is Duke Nukem Forever as bad as everyone says it is?

It's not great. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a bad game, though. It's a good game that got bogged down over 12 years of development, ideas that nobody seemed to want to cut, a switch in development teams, and a change in the climate of games.

Really, it's the most disappointing kind of game. All the elements are there, the mechanics are good, the level design is at least acceptable, nothing is broken, but it's just kinda boring.

The game starts you off fighting the... Read All I've been doing a bit of an experiment over the past week, playing games that have been pretty severely panned to see if I can find the positives. So is Duke Nukem Forever as bad as everyone says it is?

It's not great. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a bad game, though. It's a good game that got bogged down over 12 years of development, ideas that nobody seemed to want to cut, a switch in development teams, and a change in the climate of games.

Really, it's the most disappointing kind of game. All the elements are there, the mechanics are good, the level design is at least acceptable, nothing is broken, but it's just kinda boring.

The game starts you off fighting the final boss from DN3D, and while I can remember the adrenaline flowing when I fought that boss years ago, I really felt nothing in Forever-- you just run around in a circle waiting for ammo drops, then shoot the boss while continuing to strafe in a circle. But, it was meant as an intro level, so I can cut it some slack.

What happens afterwards is less slack-cuttable. What little the intro did to build up momentum is totally lost in the boring 30 minutes to follow: It's 12 years later. Duke is a hero, and has a massive tower-mansion where he has shrines to himself all over the place, and two twins to service him (and yes, I mean "service" in that way). As expected, the aliens show up again. So what does Duke do? Heads to a talk show appearance. Signs an autograph. Punches an asshole stage manager. Has a conference call with the president and a general where he's instructed not to fight. Only then does the fighting actually start.

The shooting mechanics are good enough, even the driving mechanics are serviceable, but the pacing never seems to get back on track and never begs you to keep playing. The graphics are decent enough, but were definitely showing their age by the time the game was released. The voice acting is good, or I guess as good as it can be when you're dealing with this script. There's some humor to be found, but most of it is just juvenile.

Maybe it's because I was in high school, and I'm blinded by the nostalgia, but even playing DN3D now, the humor and crass jokes seemed to be handled better. In Forever, it seems that 3D Realms was trying to make a more offensive parody of the Duke that was. "Let's take Duke Nukem 3D and make everything more over-the-top!" Maybe I've just grown up, and can see things more realistically now, but this game is seriously trying too hard.

Serious Sam has taken over in Duke's years off to be the over-the-top action hero who protects the Earth from aliens while dropping one-liners. Sam has grown with the times and fares better than Duke. Sam takes cues from Duke, for sure, but has shown that one-liners don't have to be dick and fart jokes, women don't have to be objects, and action heroes don't have to be jackasses. Serious Sam has improved on the formula that Duke Nukem started. Duke Nukem Forever just can't seem to move on.

And that's basically the problem. Duke Nukem Forever is Al Bundy. A shoe salesman who can't move past his glory days as a high school football star. You'll get some enjoyment in listening to Duke Nukem Forever tell stories of the glory days, but it's a better use of your money to find a game living in the moment.

jdodson Admin wrote on 08/11/2013 at 09:04pm

I actually wondered about this one myself. I think there is a line between a wink and a nudge camp and just being terrible. Seems like this game is on the mostly terrible line.

If this game were like $5 or $.99 would you recommend it?

Travis Admin Post Author wrote on 08/11/2013 at 09:28pm

I think I'll keep playing it, maybe. Eventually. It may be worth $5, I think that's how much I paid. $.99 absolutely.

beansmyname Supporter wrote on 08/14/2013 at 03:58pm

Let me know if you complete it to the end. I would like to build a shrine to those strong enough to play bad games to the end. Well, for those that KNOWINGLY play bad games to the end.

jdodson Admin wrote on 08/15/2013 at 12:01am

I'd build a shrine to Travis. Travis, send me a picture of your head I think thats the first step to that.

beansmyname Supporter wrote on 08/16/2013 at 08:15pm

Snag it from the Hangout On Air. :D

jdodson Admin wrote on 08/16/2013 at 09:25pm

HAHAHA yeah, good idea.

Azurephile Super Member wrote on 01/25/2014 at 08:57am

I played through the game, it's been maybe a couple of years so maybe that's why I can't quite remember why I didn't like the game as much as I thought I would. I do remember that for a while, I didn't play the game unless I was drunk. Hahahaha. Maybe the game just seemed too over the top, too offensive or in bad taste to me. DN3D was awesome and I really loved it. I can't say the same about Forever. I was a bit disappointed with it and have only played through it once and I'm not sure I'll do so again.

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The Firehose: Wolfenstein, BioShock, Fez 2 & More

Wolfenstein The New Order has been delayed till 2014. A few reasons they cite are porting it to the PS4 and XBox One and making sure everything is well polished.

http://www.pcgamer.com/2013/08/01/wolfenstein-the-new-order-delayed-until-2014/

BioShock Infinite sales pass 4 million. The name was seemingly revenue prophetic.

http://www.joystiq.com/2013/07/30/bioshock-infinite-sales-pass-4-million/

Cliff Bleszinski, game designer extrodonaire recently posted on his blog to Phil Fish about cancelling Fez 2. Good to see rational arguments surface in this debate.

http://dudehugespeaks.tumblr.com/post/56805389679/dynamite-fishing-an-open-letter-to-phil-fish

PixelJunk Monsters... Read All

Travis Admin wrote on 08/11/2013 at 02:36am

I love that post from Cliffy B. He really hits the nail on the head.

jdodson Admin Post Author wrote on 08/11/2013 at 09:05pm

Yep, he does. I even agree with him about the media part, really no one owes anyone anything. I mean, yeah id love all access to everyone but that's just not how it should work.

beansmyname Supporter wrote on 08/14/2013 at 03:39pm

Cliff's letter to Phil was a most amazing thing to read. Cliff Bleszinski is a true legend, a journeyman and extremely outspoken.

When I first read that Cliffy B had left the industry, I experienced a moment of bittersweet elation. Talented, creative geniuses like that don't do well when in corporate environments where profit is king, perception is reality and the game is just marketable product. It was much like hearing the news that Oddworld Inhabitants was closing shop and there would be no end to the Quintology right after the release of Stranger's Wrath.

Cliff's right that the designers and developers of games don't owe us anything but a quality game built with a love for the game and the gamers that will play it.

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Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut

I know this has nothing to do with gaming so this will be in the back channel.

I have heard VERY mixed reviews about the new Superman reboot: The Man of Steel. I want to watch it when it comes out on video but before that wanted to revisit the old Christopher Reeve Superman films. This write up isn't about the new Man of Steel film, its about the ol' Superman films and specifically the Richard Donner cut of Superman II.

I love the old Superman films. That said, some things I once loved as a wee lad don't hold up well over time. My fear was a bit displaced as, for me, the Superman I and II held up well. The original 1978 Superman film is just as good as I remember and I... Read All I know this has nothing to do with gaming so this will be in the back channel.

I have heard VERY mixed reviews about the new Superman reboot: The Man of Steel. I want to watch it when it comes out on video but before that wanted to revisit the old Christopher Reeve Superman films. This write up isn't about the new Man of Steel film, its about the ol' Superman films and specifically the Richard Donner cut of Superman II.

I love the old Superman films. That said, some things I once loved as a wee lad don't hold up well over time. My fear was a bit displaced as, for me, the Superman I and II held up well. The original 1978 Superman film is just as good as I remember and I think I appreciate it more now. Marlon Brando as Jor-El is superb and he really creates an emotional core to the film. Christopher Reeve as Superman is a great choice as he can both pull off the nerdy Clark Kent and don the Superman outfit with ease. Reeves Superman stands on the dorky edge of Superman while retaining the dignity the character holds. Superman has awesome power but is never intimidating or threatening, he is just an unstoppable force for good and Reeve really embodies that.

I could go into detail about all the other characters, but I want to focus more on Superman II and especially a version of the film I was only recently aware of: Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut. Originally, Superman and Superman II were filmed back to back by Richard Donner. Donner stopped filming about 75% of the way through Superman II to finish up Superman and get it into theaters. The original 1978 Superman was a critical success but due to Marlon Brando securing a hefty amount of the box office gross due to his contract, the studio wanted to cut him out of Superman II to save money. Richard Donner, the director of Superman was upset about this and due to this and other differences with the studio didn't return to finish Superman II. Richard Lester was brought on to finish Superman II, but due to Hollywood rules for directors, he had to shoot 51% of Superman II to be considered the films director. So Lester reshot much of the movie and what we all saw was Lesters Superman II with some Donner footage inserted. That said, the Lester Superman II was very different from what Donner originally intended.

As time moved on fans took to the internet to ask for a Donner cut of Superman II. The cut was eventually made and is a very different take on Superman II. All the campy slapstic that Lester added was removed and many scenes that Lester removed that Donner shot were added back in. After watching both films side by side I can tell you the Donner cut of Superman II is a superior film in nearly every way that matters to me.

Donner worked with Marlon Brando and intended for him to be present in both Superman films. His character was meant to help Superman along a character arc in both films and since the studio removed Brando out of Lesters Superman II, this finishing arc is missing entirely. All scenes in Lesters Superman feature other Kryptonians or Supermans Mother in place of Brando. As a child I never really thought much about it, but having Brando back in Donner's cut really solidifies both films. In fact, Brando and Reeve have a scene in Donner's Superman II that is so amazing and emotional its a shame it wasn't in the theatrical release. I don't want to spoil it, but it changes how Superman gets his powers back and is a very awesome explanation of something Lester does nothing with in his version of the film.

Donner's cut changes the entire opening to Superman II and overall the film is more foreboding and dark. A few scenes in the Donner cut were screen tests and whereas they are somewhat noticeable I prefer them to the Lester scenes. In the end Donner gave the original Superman films a sense of weight and emotion that Lester trades for humor or camp. Donner's Cut of Superman II is an entirely different film and if you are a fan of the original Reeve Superman you need to check it out.

Plus, its awesome to discover new things about movies you love.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman_%28film%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman_II:_The_Richard_Donner_Cut

Amazon reportedly entering the console market

http://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/amazon-settop-box.png?w=640

It appears Amazon will be entering the console market, and the rumors are flying about what exactly it will be.

It looks like it will probably be powered by a Qualcomm chip that is normally used in set-top boxes and TV's. Rumors also came about recently about Amazon making its own set-top box to stream media, so this is probably all the same thing.

This, combined with rumors that Google is doing the same, the GamePop subscription-based Android console, and the already present but struggling Ouya... the market is getting a little crowded for this type of console.

Full story on TechCrunch: ... Read All

Below & Super Time Force Will Be Ported!

"However, because of the way the game was announced & discussed in the press, there was naturally a little bit of confusion after the dust settled. And that confusion stuck around. So, to clear things up, we wanted to take a quick second and answer your number one question:

Like many games on stage at E3, Below will be available on the Xbox One first. Then, after a period of time, CAPY can bring it elsewhere. It’s always been this way."

I am happy to see Capy make this clarification about how they publish games. You never know what publishers plan on doing with a game, so its great to hear that Capy will follow the same plan for Below and Super Time Force they did... Read All

Papers.

http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2013/08/papers-please-review-paper-trail-of-tears/#p3

Played a beta of this back a couple months ago. Really entertaining low-bit aesthetic, and I dare you not to shift up and down in your chair along with the opening montage.

Give it a look.

Game Rock: Don't Buy a Console At Launch

"Back in the 90's when you bought a new system,
It was basically ready to go!
But those days are gone by, so buddy, don't be that guy
You wanna be the first in line, but I say no, no, no, no, no!
They won't have near enough games, no matter how great they seem,
It takes at least a year or two before they're runnin' full steam,
Yes it's a dirty little trick, so you gotta be staunch, kid:
Don't ever buy a console at launch,
I'm bein' serious!"

Heed the warning of this song and don't buy a console at launch! I waited to pick up my Wii and PS3 and by the time I got them most of the bugs had been ironed out and they had lots of games. I actually picked up a PS3 earlier, but they... Read All

AdamPFarnsworth wrote on 08/08/2013 at 08:14pm

Unless you're buying a console to put up on ebay at Christmas!

jdodson Admin Post Author wrote on 08/08/2013 at 08:15pm

Hahaha, thats a great point. By the time I picked up my Wii that wasn't happening as much because if you tried a bit you could pick it up at the store.

AutoCat1000 wrote on 08/09/2013 at 11:31pm

Cute, and true!

Azurephile Super Member wrote on 01/25/2014 at 09:00am

I got my Wii at launch and was not at all disappointed. That said, my Wii doesn't function as perfectly now. I've come into some issues where it's had trouble reading a few games (notably Smash Bros. Brawl and the Metroid Prime series). Still, I thought it was and is a cool system, I don't regret getting it at launch. That is the only console that I can say that I got at launch. I was interested in the Wii U when I saw the E3 Nintendo Press Conference, but I haven't gotten one yet, though I expect that's the next console I'll get (and probably not until that new Zelda game comes out).

jdodson Admin Post Author wrote on 01/25/2014 at 04:07pm

Thee Wii at launch would have been a good buy. It was t buggy and it shipped with some great games plus the wiimote was really innovative for the time.

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DuckTales Gets The Gold NES Cart Treatment

"In anticipation of next week’s release of DuckTales: Remastered on PSN, Nintendo eShop, and Steam, and next month’s release on XBLA, Capcom sent a special package out to remind some of us of those great childhood memories we might’ve had playing the game.

Upon opening it, to our joyful surprise, we found the contents of the box were possibly as valuable as the whole of Scrooge’s moneybin. The lunchbox had been holding a limited edition golden NES cartridge for DuckTales (ours was numbered 107 of 150). Now, we don’t know if the cartridge is actually a legitimate, playable cartridge, but it has contacts and is well put together enough that we at least vow to bring an... Read All

John Carmack Joins Oculus VR As CTO

John Carmack has joined Oculus VR as its new CTO. Carmack explained on Twitter how his duties will be split from Oculus, iD and Armadillo Airspace:

"My time division is now Oculus over Id over Armadillo. Busy busy busy!"

This is great news for Oculus as they are getting an amazing CTO. As an iD fan I am not entirely sure what to make of this. On one hand, iD has a great set of tools and engines with iD tech 5 but many people have already left the company and as an iD fan, I am a bit concerned.

That said, Carmack mentioned Oculus in his recent QuakeCon Keynote and I imagine some of what he wanted to see the platform handle, they may now do. He also noted that the Oculus... Read All

EverQuest Next: A New Kind of MMO

"EverQuest Next is a complete reimagining of the EverQuest Franchise.....

Everything in EverQuest Next can be destroyed. Crush the ground beneath an enemy's feet — or bury him under an avalanche you created. The world is your weapon.

The land of Norrath changes every day, based on the actions of all players… including you. Cities rise and fall, kings live and die, even the gods may change. You won't want to miss a moment of it!"

EverQuest was one of the first MMO's to start the current craze that is still the dominant game type in the MMO scene. Makes sense that Sony would look to pull in more modern game elements to make a much more fresh experience than the typical... Read All

AdamPFarnsworth wrote on 08/07/2013 at 09:55pm

I'm really interested in seeing how this works. It feels like a typical MMO mashed up with Minecraft/Terraria and Second Life. Which really excites me. I can't wait to get my hands on Everquest Next Landmark and start building things!

I do wonder how much griefing/trolling there might be by players. Will it be possible to mine so much around a town that it's impossible to enter? They said the land heals itself, but I wonder how long that takes.

I've not played an Everquest game before, but this is something I will almost definitely try out.

jdodson Admin Post Author wrote on 08/08/2013 at 06:29pm

I think I read somewhere that there will be areas that you can't touch, so if I build a house somewhere it can't be destroyed. Because, yeah, it would totally suck to put a lot of time into building a house or castle and have it destroyed.

AdamPFarnsworth wrote on 08/08/2013 at 07:22pm

I think it would be potentially awesome to build a CG settlement that can be destroyed, and have to protect it against other players, or ogres or something.

What I would recommend to the developers is to be able to save "plans" of things you build, so that if a house/castle/building did take a lot of time, and was destroyed, it could be basically rez'd again without the effort you originally put into it. Perhaps you would still have to gather materials, or wait an allotted amount of time whilst it's being rebuilt, or perhaps it pops into place.

AdamPFarnsworth wrote on 08/08/2013 at 07:23pm

And all the links of course are blocked at my work, so all I know is what I saw in the video.

AdamPFarnsworth wrote on 08/08/2013 at 08:47pm

Oh, and a mashup with Spore, with Landmark like Spore's Creature Creator.

jdodson Admin Post Author wrote on 08/08/2013 at 08:49pm

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2013/08/02/forging-worlds-everquest-next-landmark/

"Everquest Next’s voxel world allows for fine manipulation of objects, on a much more precise scale than more familiar block-based constructs. The construction tools utilise a brush, of variable size, so that large scale structures can be placed and then edges can be smoothed, eroded or embellished.

However, in order to build, players have to find resources and to do that they set out into any one of the infinite procedural continents or islands that Landmark produces. When they begin exploring the world, characters have a flag, and in the fine tradition that saw America conquer the moon for future terraforming, planting that flag stakes a claim on the surrounding area."

Unsure if you can lock your land or not, but I hope they allow something like that. What we could do is all play on the same server and then walk a direction and stake out an area we like to make a Cheerful Ghost settlement. Totally dig the idea.

AdamPFarnsworth wrote on 08/08/2013 at 09:41pm

It looks like "staking your claim" is in reference to Landmark, and not the full game. But perhaps they'll incorporate the same idea into it.

jdodson Admin Post Author wrote on 08/08/2013 at 10:44pm

I think so, but we will see. I bet they will do more to clarify that soon.

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